Change the world..

Eventhough Eric Clapton's song is a lovesong, what caught my attention were simply the words of the title "Change the World"... I heard this in a café the other night, having cocktail drinks with a cousin of mine, though it wasn't Eric Clapton singing but a younger voice, more pop version. That was weird, it certainly felt like the world changed just because of that! It wasn't the same, I'm not of the older generation who grew up listening to Eric Clapton, but as this is one of his later songs I know it fits his voice. hehehe..

Going through the words... of the song.. trying to finish this post...
♫ "That I can change the world
I would be the sunlight in your universe
You will think my love was really something good
Baby if I could change the world" ♫
"You will think my love was really something good" it's a kind of ironic song, eh...?

A friend who just went back to the Philippines after a couple of months of staying here, read my blog and said it seemed generally kind of wistful... I guess he's right, the mood of longing for something better and bigger all the time is the time I'm in the mood for writing.. dreaming..

Being a second generation migrant, I still do contemplate on my identity as for how I observe and process situations to my understanding.. Esp. when new things appear all the time, social- political relevant issues that you could turn your back to but in the end would be nice to have a point of view or some kind of understanding of..
I don't know how different this post will be, I am hoping a little "grumpy" sir majesty, thank you for your subtle comments, I'll dedicate this to you for coping with us North-european women for 2 months! ;)

I had a cup of coffee with a gay friend the other day, and as I am always careful of the things I share to people I am always very hesitant with this dude or excuse me, dudette, and of course the conversation emerged to the topic about my parents' separation.
Nothing I'm fond of talking to people about unless I open it up. But there he gone asking me, and judging me to start with for that matter, as to my very vague answer of how I felt about it... He was saying yeah, it's 'cause you're born here, that's why you take it very lightly or you seem very at ease with it, he said.
So I opened my mouth and said that I hate the situation as anyone else would, but I don't blame any of them, whether it was my father's choice to leave, I have seen my parents together and I know both have their weaknesses... I'm mad, yes very much at him, at her it doesn't matter... and then I didn't elaborate further.
Everyone has their own perception or ideal view of how their parent's marriage is, and "change the world" is probably a appropriate song from my dad to my mom..

My gay friend then said he felt pity for my mother, and I said, you shouldn't. Really, I said, don't pity her, while giving him the look and shaking my head. She's a grown woman, she shouldn't feel pity from others or feel pity for herself either. Harsh and cold? Yeah, I guess... is that a Western culture? I don't know, but what I mean when I say that, is I know my mother, and she'll go down if you support her in that way.. she needs uplift and not pity, she needs to acknowledge reality and no matter how much it does bite, life goes on!
Cold? I dunno, some would say easy for you to say, and I agree, I do admit, the times I've been in the deepest hole and never thought I could rise again, I do know people's cold words of reality have lifted me and my principles, beliefs and knowledge carried me, and though hurt and the feeling of not understanding why it happened to you, is never something you would want to experience again; I do believe that it is not what happens to you that matters, it's how you handle it!

I am naturally not saying that it is not ok to be compassionate towards your neighbor, I know for that matter that that is one of my favorite Filipino traits. Although, there is a red thread in the Filipino traits that can be turned into a negative thing when it comes to the evolvement of the perception of Filipino women and their perception of themselves. 

Since I came about a letter from a friend, who told me she now understands, but that sometimes when in the "third world" one's perspective is just different.. 

I have been questioning things as it has caught my attention more, one distinct behavioral difference between me and the Filipinas I know, whether or not they've been influenced by a western culture, is that they have the Filipino culture sowed deeply in their roots and mentality.. Integration and assimilation make a huge difference in this matter, choosing what to learn and take with you... But really all in all feel the same as if you never left.. Another friend said; "sobrang hirap itaas tayong mga pinay. By nature tayong pinay, mahina tayo, kasi yun na yung nakalakihan natin" - it's really hard to lift up us filipinas. By nature us filipinas, we are weak, 'cause that's how we were brought up" 
hmmm.. I've been processing these opinions.. and now I've learned more and more what of me is not Filipino..

How to shake off the feeling pity for another filipina due to a tragic lovestory, how to encourage young filipina women to do their best and reach their highest when circumstances or opportunities or even basic learnings of being liberal do not call for those kind of ambitions? Women leave the Philippines everyday, sad or happy endings are not what they focus on but the hope for a better tomorrow. 

As I only know what I have read of bits and pieces, there's the big issue for discussion of the Reproductive Health Bill in the Philippines at the moment.
Just thinking it continuously confirms the alltime contorversy of the influence of church and religion in the Philippine state politics and culture.

I come to think of;
A little girl is brought up to think she's a princess, and when she grows up, she is.
A young girl has been told her whole life that she is intelligent and beautiful and she graduates highschool as valedictorian.
A young woman reads, excels, search and finds, experiences college and make her parents proud as she graduates at the most prominent college summa cum-laude. 
A woman with the best resume in her handbag, has been liberated, found the job of her life, found the love of her life, carries the baby of her life.

An unmarried woman who knows only to excel, keeps her position, world economy collapses, unmarried woman leaves the country and work abroad.

Single woman in the Western world, not exactly brought up the same way, but with same ethnic background, is contemplating on this matter, and ponders am I being subjective or objective as she finds it uneasy to watch... silently. It's not all bad, I know, but with this particular thought...

It's not what happens to you that matters, it's how you handle it? 
- Hmmm... really?!

To you, Women of the Philippines (- with a culture that has been dominated by several countries and different cultures); You are tougher than you think...

But we need to educate mind, heart and confidence, 'cause you're able, you are all able...
To change YOUR world...