Growing...

..ever felt, you're starting from scratch again?
it comes and goes.. that inevitable feeling when you constantly try to reach something.. try to go some where.. and maybe even running from something somewhere..? and suddenly you just fall back to where you started. 


2011 is scaring me in so many ways.. but yeah it may not always feel alright but i'm beautifully sure, that i'll be ok ;)


it's the third sunday of advent, not that i'll be going all religious now, but earlier in mass, the priest asked if anyone present could relate to any of the people that Jesus had helped; the blind, the lame, the lepers, the deaf, the dead and the poor. 
someone answered; "all of them".
which was wise, of course. as the priest said; we have all been blind more than once or twice in our lives; we have all wanted to strongly do something, but were not able to; we have in many ways felt "rejected" out-casted from people / communities in our lives where we wanted to belong; some of us have felt that we're not living anymore and and in many ways we have felt poor.


i liked the gospel and homily of the mass today, listening carefully while feeling tired and my eyelids were heavy after a seemingly late saturday night, starting this sunday morning shopping with my sis in ikea, and facilitate a children's christmas party before mass, and suddenly i remembered someone; that i thought i had put behind me.


"the more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you." a post i read yesterday on FB, which i pressed "like" on immediately and contemplating on it; that explains so much, on how one seemingly reacts on different and even similar events through one's life.


i've dedicated some posts to friends; and here's one for another dear friend who i actually met at an airport flying back home from a holiday in the Philippines around 2,5 years ago.
I have this instinct for people, there are some I instantly feel for and some who I just know I'll have to get to know before letting my guards down, sceptism - one of my socalled negative sides that i actually do appreciate having - this particular friend, i had a good hunch for right away :)


my friend has a big heart, she's a loving single mom, a sister, a daughter and a great friend. but she wants a lot of things, she wants it in certain ways. she's got attitude when things don't exactly go her way, but nevertheless i always tell her; we're all just human, we may hurt each other from time to time; we may get sick and tired of the different situations and we may wonder why and for how much more and long we should endure!? but when we choose to love, we do so, even though we complain some times and we cry a hundred thousand times, in the end we forgive and we still love, because it goes both ways, no one's perfect.


we just have to be reminded of that and if we have to start from scratch a few times, so be it.
we will grow, and we do learn... right?




..and all of a sudden i remember, how much we laugh together and eat together hahaha, a smiling post for you my dear ;)