What's love got to do with it?

"Everything is relative" he answered by the door answering one of my colleagues questions.

I smiled with my back facing him, looking at the screen.. mid in the third month of the year, last batch has already left .. and irony has begun.. While the song "what's love got to do with it" played on the usual radio channel in the background, I quickly read the blog of a dear friend before we part for the day.. A rather serious post compared to her usual ones, but still with the fatal touch of her charm and genre of the topic love... It got me thinking again..

I copied a part of her post "Is there a chance to reach the period when migration is a choice and not a force? Is there a way to finally put an end to false marriages abroad inked with abuse and harassment? It depends who gives a standpoint, there is a distinction from various quarters, either from the government of sending or receiving countries and the recruitment agencies, the private sector."

While being sad for friends who one by one with heavy hearts had to leave the cold North to pursue a stabile life elsewhere. Emigration from the Philippines still continue everyday, and the number of people leaving NAIA does not exactly decrease. I hope and pray for all of them that happiness will soon be a part of their decisions where ever they may find them selves today.

Frequently, I'm listening to and reading emails and posts from friends in the Philippines who constantly face the reality of aiding to these OFWs while building a nation with limited means for a people, a majority of people whose hopes and dreams can only be realized by a life abroad. 

In an earlier post, I wrote about how the migration policies in Europe has tightened, and it seems more radical compared to the existing policies in the respective countries, though it becomes very personal, when standing in the midst of it. My friend’s blog evolves around love and the love she experiences in her life, she touches upon different themes, serious and crazy fun stories and as above-mentioned it has the fatal touch of the topic love.

“What happens when you actually find someone who is the reason for your being but he has to go? A glowing heart cannot undergo counseling because the natural persons wants to be together side by side and so movement to another place is unacceptable. For a few with great effort they will have to say goodbye to each other pampering themselves with memories only of an evolving story called “it has been love”

A sweet reply from a male friend made me smile as he ended by saying: "but your words count..marry me :p ahihi" it's funny how that, al though a simple figure of speech will make you smile and for one second play with the thought.. But, really, what's love got to do with it? 

Proposing to someone, I guess is choosing to take the relationship to the next level, and of course it is presumed that you're in love? Whether it is those words, or the meaning of those words, expressed as a nonchalant figure of speech, a cry for help; "gusto mo ikaw nalang",  or utterly a forced declaration of one's love.. "will you marry me?", also heard; "pakasalan mo ako pagbalik ko?" haha.. yeah, four slightly different tones of a question that millions of the female gender await to hear from their one and only love. haha.. But, again really.. What’s love got to do with it?

I am sceptic, will probably always be, but I have not lost faith in finding the One for me who will actually put sincerity in those words and not only ask it, as if it was just any question to be answered with multiple choices, where the 50/50 chance for a positive response is expected. I hope that once He asks me he will not expect any less than a 100% positive answer. 

Yeah, I think I got a bit away from my point, you never know who will read my blog :)

One reason for my being sceptic in terms of Filipino men, who I funny enough, prefer to the men from here. I guess I have not excluded any nationalities completely but, like I said I prefer men with a Filipino background. Though, I live here, and there is only a limited choice of Filipino men, so come to think of it I either may change my preferences in men or I will have to prepare myself for a family reunification process if I should fall head over heels for a man who is not from here and include myself as one of the “victims” to Europe’s new immigration rules. The skepticism grows when Filipino men show interest and in the end as a part of a desperate act of wanting to stay, utter the cry for help.

Arranged marriages are between two people who most likely have not chosen each other, at some instances do not know each other, but in most cases learn to love each other and maybe even fall head over heels for one another. And some are even arranged to help other families economically?

I was actually playing with the thought, that this way of pursuing your luck abroad, maybe not in the classic sense of “proforma” marriage but kind of the new "shot gun" marriage?

It is like; did you get someone pregnant / did you get pregnant accidentally? - get married for honor and security? Answers to; did you fall in love but you have to leave the country? did you pursue a love to stay in a country? - get married for security and money?

Another friend had consistently for a while been posting much on mail order brides and husbands, I wrote her and we had a dialogue of her observation and opinion of the growing sex tourism in the Philippines and the thousands of young women and men “selling” themselves online on these mail order websites. While my observation was not online or in the red corner districts of the big cities in South East Asia, but merely in the central station of my home town in Northern Europe and in the minds and eyes of their fellow-country men and women, that these young people would pursue anyone to be able to stay and not go home.

One comment that I realized I had never thought about in this sense, “Oo, tama ka. Pero mas na patungkol sa pera lang. I doubt kung alam ng mga dalagang ito kung ano ang "migration".” (Yes, you are right. But it still mostly about money. I doubt these girls know what “migration” is.)

I grew up with a lot of titas and titos who in one way or the other started out with “helping each other” but as decisions are not just made without realistic preferences; people have fallen in love through the years. I remember one christmas eve we had once, we usually spend it with 10 families or so, and we always play games, so one time it was at my parent’s place, and the game was played by family, and we chose 4 random families, who had to answer questions about each other, like the kids favorite movie, favorite color and so, just to see if the parents’ still knew their kids and the other way around. There was a question that said something like; what was the first thing your mom noticed / liked about your dad? - and one couple bursted into laughter, saying; his permanent residence. ;)

If you ask me, I am in a stage of a woman’s life where it would be nice to settle down, especially if one wishes to have children. For the past 6 months I have been thinking of answers to questions I never thought I would have to face. For me letting go, and just fall for someone is hard enough as it is. And considering that my European passport is part of my attraction, well.. it does not exactly get me hyped or boost my ego in that sense... *sigh* 

All these thoughts while UN has now attacked Libya.. hmm.. perspective.